16 weeks

I dreamed of what it would be like to be 16 weeks pregnant, I'm not sure why but I always thought of that as a milestone. This baby is 4 weeks older then our Josiah. We praise God every day for this baby, and I love to see my stomach changing, its so neat. I have a picture I took of my stomach this morning, and I am definitly popping out! I am pretty sure I have felt very light movement, but I have to stay real still and queit to feel it. I cant wait to feel a kick, and more frequent movements.

Tomorrow it will have been 1 year since we lost our sweet angel. Lance and I have been thinking alot about Josiah this week. I still miss her every single day. I think about how I would have a almost 6 month old, but then I think about the fact I probably wouldnt be pregnant with this little miracle either. Every time I see a baby around the age she would be, I just smile in rememberance of our little one. So we celebrate her life, her short little 3 months she lived in this world. How she changed us, and brought us closer together and to God. She was our little miracle and we cant wait to meet her someday.

We have about 2 and a half weeks till our ultrasound, and cannot wait to find out what we are having. I keep asking the baby if its a Judah, or a Eliana. No response as of yet, lol. I really dont know what I think, but I honestly dont care boy or girl, so maybe thats why I dont have an "intuition."

Morning sickness has come back a little bit, but I cant complain, everything has been uncomplicated and going perfectly!

15 weeks

So here we are, the 2nd week into the 2nd trimester, yay! I have been feeling pretty good, just hungry all the time. Literally, I always feel like im starving. This makes me a little nervous because I don't want to get huge, but at the same time I want to make sure this baby is getting all the nutrition it needs. So I have been trying to have healthy snacks. It seems between 1 and dinner time is when I want to eat. I have to bring like 3-4 snacks to work, I usually eat them all and then I'm starving on the way home.

We bought a doppler, such a cool investment. We try not to use it alot, but when we do its so neat to hear that little babies heartbeat, and I can hear when its kicking too, even though I dont feel it quite yet. Usually once I find the baby, it moves away within a second, and I have to search to find the heartbeat again. Its been ranging in the 140's which is perfect.

I lost some weight in the first trimester, but I think I have put on about 2 lbs in a little over a week. I am hoping to keep that to 1 lb a week or less, which is technically normal.

We have about 3 weeks until our ultrasound, and we will know if this baby is Eliana or Judah. Any guesses? I really have no idea! They say your supposed to have mothers intuition, but honestly if I had to guess I would say boy, but only because I know theres a 50% chance I am right.

Sorry I havent posted belly pics, but I cannot find the cord to my camera. Once I do, I will :)

14 weeks (and our testimony)

We finally made it to the 2nd trimester! I am starting to feel better, and actually starting to feel pregnant. I still have some morning sickness, but its hit or miss. It feels so good to be past the point where we lost Josiah, and its extremely relieving. This may be a long post as I would like to talk about my appt, and also our testimony this past year.

First, the appt went great! My blood pressure is down, which I know its only a little high because I get so darn nervous. I felt a sense of calm and peace during the appt which was great, I know we had a lot of people praying for us. My midwife asked me lots of questions, and even asked if I have felt movement yet, which I said, if I am, I wouldnt know what it feels like. But she said its still early, and by 16-18 weeks I should be feeling something in there. Then came the awaited heartbeat check....We both felt very calm, even when she didnt find it right away. She went a little lower, and there is was! In the 160's which is perfect. I could listen to that all day long! I looked over at Lance and I could see tears in his eyes, and I started to cry which knocked the doppler right off my belly. Then we got our paperwork for our gender ultrasound, which will be July 10th! I will be 18 weeks and we will finally be able to call this little person by name. Also I am measuring a little bigger then 14 weeks, which makes sense because the baby was measuring almost a week bigger in the 8 week ultrasound.

So on to our story. Last year at this time I was pregnant, getting ready to move, and for my brothers wedding. We were due December 31st. At this point I had heard her little heartbeat many times on a doppler I had rented. I thought everything was going to be fine. After we moved we had our first appt here with our midwife and that is where we found her heart had stopped sometime in the last week. I cant explain the grief we felt. Not only did we loose our baby, but my body would just not let go, so I had a D&C. I struggled with that decision for a long time, like I did something wrong. To make a really long story short, we spent the rest of the summer in grief. We prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I got tests done, the told me my baby was a healthy girl, and they didnt know why this happened. So then my midwife did some blood work, and found a genetic mutation of mthfr. Which essentially doesnt allow your body to absorb folic acid like it should, which can cause high homocysteine levels and blood clots. They thought maybe the placenta had blood clots and that is why the baby died. So I went to a specialist who said since my homocysteine levels are normal, that I do not need to do anything special. However I took it upon myself and with the counsel of my midwife, family, and of course praying about it, we decided to take extra folic acid (4 times the normal amount) and a baby aspirin. We figured it couldnt hurt, but it may help.

We thought we would get pregnant right away, but had to wait 3 months to start trying , because of all the tests. Then about 4 months into trying to concieve, I went to see my OB for a normal checkup. She took some blood because I was having discharge from my breasts and she thought maybe my body was thinking it needed to make milk and my prolactin levels were high. So when we get the results that the prolactin levels were high, she wanted to test again in a couple of weeks to see what they were during another time in my cycle. Well the day before my test, Lance prayed over me, we asked God to regulate my body. I went in for the tests and it was all normal, Praise God!

Another time throughout trying to conceive, Lance annointed my womb with oils and asked for the holy spirit to come and heal anything that may be preventing me from getting pregnant. I felt a warm, tingly sensation right over where my uterus would be, and it lasted for a good 2 hours, at that point I knew God had healed my womb.

The month we got pregnant, I was upset because my periods were so irregular, and I never knew if they would come at 28, 31, or 38 days. So about 14 days into a cycle, Lance prayed over me that God would regulate my cycles, and the next day, I started what I thought was just mid cycle bleeding. It lasted for 5 days and was extremely light. I called my OB and she said even though it came in the middle of your cycle, to count it as a period because it lasted 5 days. So about 15 days from that (I was charting my temps for ovulation) we conceived this little miracle! So that mid cycle bleeding was not a fluke, it was God restoring my body back. 9 months after we lost our little one, we were expecting a new little one!

Its been a long 14 weeks, but here we are. This year feels alot like last year, except with no grief and sadness, only JOY! We moved, we have a wedding to go to, and im pregnant and due in the same month. Only this time God is rewriting our story. He has blessed us so much and we are so greatful for everything he is doing in our lives.

Thank you for all the prayers for us and this baby!

13 weeks 5 days

Just a quick update, we have our 14 week appt tomorrow, and are very anxious to hear that heartbeat. Its a different kind of feeling for me, because when we lost Josiah, I had no symptoms that I had miscarried. I was even still feeling pretty sick. Even though I feel in my heart everything will be okay, I still ask myself...what if...so I just ask for prayers for Lance and I, we will be at our appt at 9:30 am tomorrow. Please pray for peace, and a strong healthy heartbeat. I swear this day could not go by any slower!

I will update tomorrow.