12 weeks

Finally 12 weeks! This past week at church, my husband asked for prayer so we can be free of fear with this pregnancy, and I know this was a hard thing for him to do. We both felt a release on Sunday when we were being prayed over by our church family. We were told all sorts of amazing things that people heard from God about us. It was an amazing experience, God is so good! I have to say I havent felt any fear since then, even though thoughts will come in my head, but I immediatly recognize they are not from God, and renounce them. I still have some anxiety about just getting to our next appt and hearing that heartbeat, but I no longer am having the thoughts and fears I was having on a regular basis.

So for about a week now I have been throwing up every morning, and once I do, I feel better. Today I didnt though and I am hoping that means it will keep getting better now that I am close to the 2nd trimester. My appetite is still not the greatest but is definitly better. I am still loosing weight, but am not too concerned. I was getting more energy, and then all the sudden, I feel so sleepy again. I sleep 10 hours a night and still feel like a nap. Also my nose is stuffed all the time (which I guess is common). My pants still fit, but are not that comfortable. I am thinking in the next 2 weeks I wont be wearing them anymore.

We are officially moved, and I love the area out here, but it makes getting to work/church a challenge. I have been working 3 hours and have to drive 40 minutes each way. its kind of ridiculous. So I am praying God leads me to another job soon, or finds us that perfect house to buy.

Less then 2 weeks till our next appt, we are so excited to hear the heartbeat!

I will post a belly pic in the next couple of days, we havent taken one yet

11 weeks

We are already more then 1/4 of the way to meeting our little one. 5 days away from when we lost our precious Josiah. 31 days away from when we found out about Josiah. 3 weeks away from our next appt where we can hear the heartbeat. Time is flying by.

I feel sort of guilty. I have been wanting to keep a written journal for this pregnancy, like I did with Josiah, but I havent. I also have been wanting to take belly pictures each month, and havent. For some reason I havent allowed myself to feel like this baby is to stay. I have been struggling alot with that lately. Then I realized, every time I doubt this baby, I am deliberately disobeying God. Wow. So from now on all I express is hope and love for this child. I cant control how long this child will be on the earth, but I do know this baby deserves ALL of her parents hope, not just some of it.

So my next post, when im 12 weeks (3 months) I will include our very first belly picture! And will take one every month after that so I can see my belly grow. Also I am going to start a journal. I figure at least I have these blog's that I can print off for now.

I've never been super skinny, but I can no longer suck in my stomach! I have had everyone comment on my belly lol. At first I was like, man I'm not supposed to be showing yet! But hey I love it, and cant wait for it to get bigger :) In a few weeks I will probably be in maternity clothes because A. my pants are getting tight, and B. they are so comfortable! I probably rub, and stare at my belly 20 times a day. Lance is starting to think im crazy, lol. I also started calling the baby "beanie", which is what I used to call Josiah. I didnt even think about it, it just came out of my mouth one day and now its stuck. Who knew a tiny 2 inch human could bring so much love into our lifes? Lance and I are so excited to become parents and love on this child. This baby will be so spoiled :)

10 weeks

We had our 10 week appt, and it went very well. We didnt get to hear the heartbeat (we tried), so we got to see the baby for a minute and they had a strong heartbeat :) The baby looked like a little blob, because the machine was ancient, but we got to see what we were looking for. I lost 4 lbs, but our midwife isnt concerned, but she says im eating enough.

I have been having some pain in my low back/tailbone area. I injured my tailbone many years ago, and I was told it may be aggravated when I am pregnant, and I think its definitly agravated. I feel okay in the morning, but as the day goes on, it can be be pretty painful. I just keep praying, and am planning on seeing a chiropractor soon to see if I can get some relief. I am happy to know the baby is growing though, because its pushing on everything in there!

Other then that, we are moving, soon. We could definitly use any help we can get, as I am not allowed to pick anything up...according to Lance...lol...So we plan on getting some stuff moved this weekend to a storage unit and then the rest as we can throughout the week.

Work has been tough. I have decided if something doesnt change, I will not be there long. There is some stuff going on that makes me sick, and I cant stand to see children treated that way.

So all in all, we are good, healthy baby, and lots of packing to do!

9 weeks

So far time is flying by, I am praying the next 3 weeks fly by and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I have been really emotional lately, and missing our little angel. She would have been 4 months old already. I love this baby in me so much, but Josiah will always be my first baby. I know I will meet her someday, but as her mommy I miss her so much.

I just ask that everyone keeps praying for us in the next few weeks, for peace, and comfort. Its strange, because last time this year, we were getting ready to move, in with his parents, and here we are again, and im pregnant, again. The situation feels the same, but I know its not. This time things will go right. My summer will not be full of grief and depression, it will be of joy and love. We have so much good happening right now, how could something go wrong?

Lance and I are so excited to start this youth group, it is a big passion of ours. We are looking to buy a house this fall, after we complete our housing program, and our real estate agent whom we love is getting approved so she can help us. Our little brother (well Lance's lol) is getting married in July, and we are excited to be able to visit Grand Rapids for that.

Gods timing is perfect, and it feels as if he is rewriting what happened last year. June 25th will be the anniversary of finding out about Josiah, and instead of being depressed we will be celebrating that I am 16 weeks pregnant with this little one. Praise God!

Thank you for all the prayers, and positive thoughts!