11 weeks

We are already more then 1/4 of the way to meeting our little one. 5 days away from when we lost our precious Josiah. 31 days away from when we found out about Josiah. 3 weeks away from our next appt where we can hear the heartbeat. Time is flying by.

I feel sort of guilty. I have been wanting to keep a written journal for this pregnancy, like I did with Josiah, but I havent. I also have been wanting to take belly pictures each month, and havent. For some reason I havent allowed myself to feel like this baby is to stay. I have been struggling alot with that lately. Then I realized, every time I doubt this baby, I am deliberately disobeying God. Wow. So from now on all I express is hope and love for this child. I cant control how long this child will be on the earth, but I do know this baby deserves ALL of her parents hope, not just some of it.

So my next post, when im 12 weeks (3 months) I will include our very first belly picture! And will take one every month after that so I can see my belly grow. Also I am going to start a journal. I figure at least I have these blog's that I can print off for now.

I've never been super skinny, but I can no longer suck in my stomach! I have had everyone comment on my belly lol. At first I was like, man I'm not supposed to be showing yet! But hey I love it, and cant wait for it to get bigger :) In a few weeks I will probably be in maternity clothes because A. my pants are getting tight, and B. they are so comfortable! I probably rub, and stare at my belly 20 times a day. Lance is starting to think im crazy, lol. I also started calling the baby "beanie", which is what I used to call Josiah. I didnt even think about it, it just came out of my mouth one day and now its stuck. Who knew a tiny 2 inch human could bring so much love into our lifes? Lance and I are so excited to become parents and love on this child. This baby will be so spoiled :)