Ita hard to believe just 10 days ao I was impatiently waiting for them to bring Judah in our room. I had only held him once that day, and was so anxious to see him again.
Time is already flying by. He is changing every day. He is eating like a champ, and sleeps really good. (most of the time!) He has brought us so much joy and watching Lance with him is the best feeling in the world. I want to protect him from everything (even though I know I can't). He has been through so much in the 10 days he has been here I just want to keep him from feeling anymore pain.
I am feeling better every day, and getting more energy. I have a slight backache which I think is from the epidural, but it seems to be getting better. I am healing well (at least I think so), and can't wait to get back to feeling normal. I have lost all of my pregnancy weight and then some (yay). However there are some unfortunate side effects. I sweat like crazy at nighttime, and I am super emotional and cry over everything. But I know this is all normal as my body adjusts to not being pregnant anymore. I already miss it, feeling his movements and having that big belly. Its amazing how you forget the pain almost immeadiatly.
He has his first Dr. appt in the morning, and we are interested to see how much our little guy weighs, hes a big boy! Just keep us in your prayers as we adjust to being a family and having a little person to take care of. Also we are moving soon and we ask for prayers that everything goes smoothly and finances are in order. Also we could use any help available, as I will still not be able to lift alot.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Judah Alen Pearce
I have wanted to share my birth story with everyone, and I now have the time to write it down.
I was 10 days overdue, and was going to be induced Saturday night if he did not come by then. Well the night before at 1:30 AM I got my first painful contraction. They came every 30 minutes or so for about 6 hours. Then they got closer, and then all of the sudden around 12:30 PM they were 5 minutes apart. I waited an hour and they were still 5 minutes apart. So we decided to head in to labor and delivery. When I got there I was having contractions every 2 minutes that were getting more intense. I was only dialated to 3 though. We got in our room, and I tried everything. The tub, rocking chair, bed. They got so intense and close together all I could do is yell "ow" over and over again. They didn't like how close my contractions were (about a minute) and I was begging for something to help ease the pain. I really did not want an epidural, so they gave me some IV med's. They helped for about an hour, but then the contractions got really bad. I was begging for something else. I decided to get the epidural. (If you know me, I am always trying to go the most natural route, this was a last resort) My midwife told me she though the epidural was a good idea because I was having contractions too close together and they wanted them to slow down. Also I developed a fever, and they started me on antibiotics, and tylenol. The epidural did its job for a while, but eventually my contractions got extremely bad. They went from 0-135 on the monitor, and then stayed over a 100 and just kept going up but never coming down past 100. I was having constant contractions.
My heartrate was in the 150's, and Judah's was in the 180's (they want his no higher then 160's). My fever continued to rise, and my midwife checked me, I was still 7 cm dialated, the same as I was 2 hours prior. She said the word C-section and I instantly started crying. This was the farthest from what I wanted. But she though Judah was stuck, and with the fever and high heartrates, we needed to make a decision. Of course we agreed to the C-section as what is most important was Judah and I getting out of this as safely as possible. I was really scared but Lance was amazing. He stayed so strong for the both of us when I know he was scared to death. When they were prepping for the C-section Judah's heartrate shot up to 210 and stayed there. That was so terrifying, and I was scared I was going to loose my baby.
The C-section itself was pretty awful, Lance watched the whole thing. Once they got him out and I heard some little cries I started crying. I saw them put him on the table near me and they were suctioning him out really well because he had pooped in his amniotic fluid. I only got to see him for a second and he was taken to the NICU because he needed more suctioning and was also running a fever. My poor baby had to have a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. (his dad had one and can contest they hurt really bad) I had Lance go with him, as that was our plan if anything should go wrong. Th Once I was in recovery for about an hour they took me to see Judah really quickly, and then took me to my room and I had to wait 5 hours to see my baby again. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. Finally I got to go to the NICU. When I got to finally hold him it was so awesome. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. He was perfect! He looked like Lance from the nose up and me below the nose. He has his Daddy's hands and feet. He has blondish red hair, and blue eyes (we are waiting to see if they are going to be brown or green) Despite all the wires and IV's on him he was just amazing. I was told he was on antibiotics in case of infection and we couldn't have him in our room with us, it would be at least 24 hours. Well later that day we got the news that Judah would be staying in our room with us and would be there around 6PM. His blood work showed he did have an infection but they were not sure what, so they wanted him on antibiotics for at least 5 days to get rid of whatever it was. His spinal tap came back negative and his blood work got better and better. Finally on Christmas Eve we got the news we would be going home around lunch time. The 5 days in the hospital were rough, my baby was being poked and bugged all day and night, and I could barely move. Lance did such a great job taking care of Judah and I. He was amazing! We also had family that came and helped out, (and let us sleep!) which was great.
Since we have been home we have had some issues with breastfeeding, but with my husbands perseverance and it being very important to me, we got it down, and now Judah only eats from Mommy! I love my little man so much, and could not imagine life without him. I have an amazing husband who takes such good care of us, and is a great Daddy. I am feeling better but still pretty weak and tired (I lost alot of blood, and they almost needed to do a transfusion). I can't wait until I am healed and can be more active. But other then that we are healthy and happy. Judah sleeps so good and only wakes up if hes hungry or needs to be changed. Hes our little blessing from God!
I was 10 days overdue, and was going to be induced Saturday night if he did not come by then. Well the night before at 1:30 AM I got my first painful contraction. They came every 30 minutes or so for about 6 hours. Then they got closer, and then all of the sudden around 12:30 PM they were 5 minutes apart. I waited an hour and they were still 5 minutes apart. So we decided to head in to labor and delivery. When I got there I was having contractions every 2 minutes that were getting more intense. I was only dialated to 3 though. We got in our room, and I tried everything. The tub, rocking chair, bed. They got so intense and close together all I could do is yell "ow" over and over again. They didn't like how close my contractions were (about a minute) and I was begging for something to help ease the pain. I really did not want an epidural, so they gave me some IV med's. They helped for about an hour, but then the contractions got really bad. I was begging for something else. I decided to get the epidural. (If you know me, I am always trying to go the most natural route, this was a last resort) My midwife told me she though the epidural was a good idea because I was having contractions too close together and they wanted them to slow down. Also I developed a fever, and they started me on antibiotics, and tylenol. The epidural did its job for a while, but eventually my contractions got extremely bad. They went from 0-135 on the monitor, and then stayed over a 100 and just kept going up but never coming down past 100. I was having constant contractions.
My heartrate was in the 150's, and Judah's was in the 180's (they want his no higher then 160's). My fever continued to rise, and my midwife checked me, I was still 7 cm dialated, the same as I was 2 hours prior. She said the word C-section and I instantly started crying. This was the farthest from what I wanted. But she though Judah was stuck, and with the fever and high heartrates, we needed to make a decision. Of course we agreed to the C-section as what is most important was Judah and I getting out of this as safely as possible. I was really scared but Lance was amazing. He stayed so strong for the both of us when I know he was scared to death. When they were prepping for the C-section Judah's heartrate shot up to 210 and stayed there. That was so terrifying, and I was scared I was going to loose my baby.
The C-section itself was pretty awful, Lance watched the whole thing. Once they got him out and I heard some little cries I started crying. I saw them put him on the table near me and they were suctioning him out really well because he had pooped in his amniotic fluid. I only got to see him for a second and he was taken to the NICU because he needed more suctioning and was also running a fever. My poor baby had to have a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. (his dad had one and can contest they hurt really bad) I had Lance go with him, as that was our plan if anything should go wrong. Th Once I was in recovery for about an hour they took me to see Judah really quickly, and then took me to my room and I had to wait 5 hours to see my baby again. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. Finally I got to go to the NICU. When I got to finally hold him it was so awesome. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. He was perfect! He looked like Lance from the nose up and me below the nose. He has his Daddy's hands and feet. He has blondish red hair, and blue eyes (we are waiting to see if they are going to be brown or green) Despite all the wires and IV's on him he was just amazing. I was told he was on antibiotics in case of infection and we couldn't have him in our room with us, it would be at least 24 hours. Well later that day we got the news that Judah would be staying in our room with us and would be there around 6PM. His blood work showed he did have an infection but they were not sure what, so they wanted him on antibiotics for at least 5 days to get rid of whatever it was. His spinal tap came back negative and his blood work got better and better. Finally on Christmas Eve we got the news we would be going home around lunch time. The 5 days in the hospital were rough, my baby was being poked and bugged all day and night, and I could barely move. Lance did such a great job taking care of Judah and I. He was amazing! We also had family that came and helped out, (and let us sleep!) which was great.
Since we have been home we have had some issues with breastfeeding, but with my husbands perseverance and it being very important to me, we got it down, and now Judah only eats from Mommy! I love my little man so much, and could not imagine life without him. I have an amazing husband who takes such good care of us, and is a great Daddy. I am feeling better but still pretty weak and tired (I lost alot of blood, and they almost needed to do a transfusion). I can't wait until I am healed and can be more active. But other then that we are healthy and happy. Judah sleeps so good and only wakes up if hes hungry or needs to be changed. Hes our little blessing from God!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Update
Just a little update...Judah's white blood count is up higher then it should be, He will be in the hospital until at least Thursday to be on antibiotics...We are asking for prayers, that whatever the infection is goes away, and that his spinal tap shows nothing wrong. He is such a precious amazing little boy, and I hate to see him poked and prodded. He is so strong though, has been holding his head up before he was even a day old, and rarely cries (only when hes sleeping and you move him around too much) Breastfeeding is a challenge but I have been working with a lactation consultant and now feel much better about it. I know everyone is excited to meet him but we are trying to keep visitors to a minimum and Lance and I are extremely exhausted, mentally and physically. We just ask for prayers, and positive thoughts sent our way. We may not get back to you right away if you call/text, as we are busy with our little guy and I am busy trying to heal (26 hours of labor, and a C-section will do a toll on you) But we thank you all for the comments, and are excited to bring a healthy baby home soon. He truly is the most amazing gift we have ever recieved.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
41 weeks
Today at our appt I was almost 2cm dialted, 60% effaced, and she could feel Judah's head! This is alot of progress for us because I was at 1cm and his head has been up high for quite a while. She stripped my membranes which wasn't so bad, and I am hoping the helps put me into labor so we don't have to be induced. They dont let you go past 42 weeks. We are debating on scheduling an induction day for this weekend or just waiting it out. I really don't want to be in the hospital for Christmas, and I will be 42 weeks on Dec. 23rd.
We are just praying that labor starts as soon as tonight and we will be holding our son by the end of the week. We cant wait to see his beautiful face!
We are just praying that labor starts as soon as tonight and we will be holding our son by the end of the week. We cant wait to see his beautiful face!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
40 weeks
Here we are, completely full term with our little guy. He is one stubborn little man, but thats okay. He is still not engaged, but is in the right position. I have to start Non Stress Tests Friday and will have them twice a week until he arrives. After 41 weeks they may do an ultrasound to make sure the fluid is good, ect.
Ive been having contractions every day, just nothing regular or painful yet. My midwife thinks hes about 8 and a half lbs. We always said we wanted a baby with chubby cheeks and I think Judah is making sure he has that!
So now we wait...which is the hardest part! We appreciate prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby.
Ive been having contractions every day, just nothing regular or painful yet. My midwife thinks hes about 8 and a half lbs. We always said we wanted a baby with chubby cheeks and I think Judah is making sure he has that!
So now we wait...which is the hardest part! We appreciate prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
39 weeks
Mr. Judah has gotten his stubborness from his mommy. He is estimated around 8lbs, very long, and is not engaged. No progress from last week...I was a little dissapointed, but my midwife also told me that her first baby did not engage until she was in active labor, so that gave me hope. She also told me to take evening primrose oil to help dialate the cervix. I am a little nervous I'm going to have a 9lb baby but all that matters is he is healthy, and I know he will be here soon. Sorry Judah but you cant hang out in there forever!! Until then I sit on the birthing ball because it seems to give me more contractions, and I drink my Red raspberry leaf tea.
Tomorrow is a full moon, heres to hoping!
Tomorrow is a full moon, heres to hoping!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Blessed
I am 10 days away from my due date, and feeling so incredibly blessed to be so close to meeting our son. We have so much to be thankful for. I cant see a newborn, think of my son without crying. Its unbelievable how much I love him already.
We have such an amazing testimony with our loss, and now with this baby. I will always miss that baby we lost, and cannot wait to meet her one day. She has brought this family so much closer. Her life had a purpose, and she was an amazing gift from God. We may never understand why she was only in our lifes for such a short period of time, but I know the short 3 months she was, she made a huge impact on us and everyone around us. I have alot to remember her by, and know when I look at Judah's sweet face I will be reminded of her.
I thank God everyday for my husband, and my son. I know Judah is going to do great things with his life, and he is going to be loved so much. Everyone is so looking foward to him. Thank you Jesus for our heritage in Judah. I thank you that he will be in the right position for birth, and that he will come before Lance's dad has to leave on Dec. 9th. We thank you for a safe and amazing birth experience.
Come on Judah!! :)
We have such an amazing testimony with our loss, and now with this baby. I will always miss that baby we lost, and cannot wait to meet her one day. She has brought this family so much closer. Her life had a purpose, and she was an amazing gift from God. We may never understand why she was only in our lifes for such a short period of time, but I know the short 3 months she was, she made a huge impact on us and everyone around us. I have alot to remember her by, and know when I look at Judah's sweet face I will be reminded of her.
I thank God everyday for my husband, and my son. I know Judah is going to do great things with his life, and he is going to be loved so much. Everyone is so looking foward to him. Thank you Jesus for our heritage in Judah. I thank you that he will be in the right position for birth, and that he will come before Lance's dad has to leave on Dec. 9th. We thank you for a safe and amazing birth experience.
Come on Judah!! :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
38 weeks
2 weeks until Judah's due date! As much as I want this little guy to come, I know its best if he stays put until hes completely ready. He does seem pretty comfy in there! We are working on getting him in the right position for birth, so I have been doing pelvic tilts (not enough according to Lance) and sitting on the birthing ball to help open up my pelvis and allow him to move on down. Something has changed as far as his positioning but I am not sure what. I can never tell what I am feeling, he seems to be everywhere. I think hes in the right position now though, so praise God!
Our appt on Friday went well, we only have 2 more left until the due date. I am 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and very soft. So now we wait. I met a mom who is due Dec. 1st and we both talked about how excited we were to be at the new hospital. It truly is an awesome place to be, if you have to be there.
Daddy would love for him to come before Thanksgiving, but I think Judah wants his December birthday. I am just enjoying these last days/weeks with him in my belly, because I will never get this time back. He is such a blessing in our lives and is going to be so incredibly loved. We already have a crew set up for delivery (whos taking pictures/video taping). Everyone in our family is preparing and is so excited for him. His aunts and uncles are taking time off of work, my Aunt is coming in from out of town, and of course the grandparents are incredibly excited. Its the first little one to enter our immediate family on both sides. He is going to be here right in time for his first Christmas! Mommy and Daddy already have bought him a couple of presents. We love you so much Judah bug and we cannot wait to see you!!!
Our appt on Friday went well, we only have 2 more left until the due date. I am 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and very soft. So now we wait. I met a mom who is due Dec. 1st and we both talked about how excited we were to be at the new hospital. It truly is an awesome place to be, if you have to be there.
Daddy would love for him to come before Thanksgiving, but I think Judah wants his December birthday. I am just enjoying these last days/weeks with him in my belly, because I will never get this time back. He is such a blessing in our lives and is going to be so incredibly loved. We already have a crew set up for delivery (whos taking pictures/video taping). Everyone in our family is preparing and is so excited for him. His aunts and uncles are taking time off of work, my Aunt is coming in from out of town, and of course the grandparents are incredibly excited. Its the first little one to enter our immediate family on both sides. He is going to be here right in time for his first Christmas! Mommy and Daddy already have bought him a couple of presents. We love you so much Judah bug and we cannot wait to see you!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
37 weeks: FULL TERM!
I cant believe we are already considered full term! We are so excited to meet Judah! He is having fun keeping us guessing when he will arrive. I have been having contractions on and off for over a week now. Sometimes they will be regular, sometimes not. Then they usually just disappear. Must be my body practicing for the real thing. He has been as active as ever, and now that he has dropped, it makes it slightly more uncomfortable. I feel a lot of pressure and lost what they call the "mucus plug" (lovely name) 4 days ago.
Everyone is convinced it will be within a week, but I guess we will know more at our appt. on Friday. I am okay with whenever he wants to arrive, I am trying to enjoy these last few days/weeks with him snuggled in there, because once hes here, he can't go back!
We found a pediatrician, and although her office is in Troy, I believe she is the right fit for us and Judah. That took a huge weight off of me, because now at least we have that squared away. The car seat is installed but we didn't have it inspected yet. The Milford Police station does it, I just have to call and get an appt, and if for some reason we don't get to before he comes, I will have someone at the hospital check it out. (even though I'm pretty sure its installed right!)
Other then that we are just waiting, waiting, and waiting. I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind off things, but I feel really tired most of the time. We can't wait to introduce you all to Judah!
Everyone is convinced it will be within a week, but I guess we will know more at our appt. on Friday. I am okay with whenever he wants to arrive, I am trying to enjoy these last few days/weeks with him snuggled in there, because once hes here, he can't go back!
We found a pediatrician, and although her office is in Troy, I believe she is the right fit for us and Judah. That took a huge weight off of me, because now at least we have that squared away. The car seat is installed but we didn't have it inspected yet. The Milford Police station does it, I just have to call and get an appt, and if for some reason we don't get to before he comes, I will have someone at the hospital check it out. (even though I'm pretty sure its installed right!)
Other then that we are just waiting, waiting, and waiting. I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind off things, but I feel really tired most of the time. We can't wait to introduce you all to Judah!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
35 and 36 weeks
Well here we are, 3 weeks plus after our preterm labor and Judah is still nice and snug in there. At my 35 week appt I was a finger tip dilated and his head was still up high, so looks like he may be in there for the long run! I am worried about have a giant baby though, as he measured 3 weeks ahead and my uterus is also measuring 3 weeks ahead. My midwife isn't concerned though, she thinks hes bigger then average but not huge. His space is getting limited and when he stretches out it can be a bit uncomfortable for mommy. We are just enjoying these last few weeks as just Lance and Tina, and excited to add Judah!
We have been together for 11 years. Lance has been my best friend since I was 15 years old. We grew up together, we dreamed about this since we were 15 years old. We have been through so much together, and this baby is an incredible blessing in our lives. I got really sad the other day thinking about our Josiah, and what that baby could have been. I miss her so incredibly much, but I know if she was here, Judah would most likely not be. Our first little one would be almost a year old by now. She will always be our first creation together, and we cant wait to meet her one day.
I have been having more and more "braxton hicks" contractions and when they happen I feel crampy all over. I guess that's just my body practicing for the real thing, but whenever they happen I always wonder...are they going to get worse or go away? Its exciting and fun and I cant wait till they do start getting worse and I can say "its time!"
A prayer request....we are asking God to lead us to a decision for our housing. We have an option with a condo in Milford, but we know we want to own our own home someday. The tax credit has been expanded until May or April (cant remember) and we are debating just saving money until then and trying to get into a home. Just pray God gives us direction in this area.
We have been together for 11 years. Lance has been my best friend since I was 15 years old. We grew up together, we dreamed about this since we were 15 years old. We have been through so much together, and this baby is an incredible blessing in our lives. I got really sad the other day thinking about our Josiah, and what that baby could have been. I miss her so incredibly much, but I know if she was here, Judah would most likely not be. Our first little one would be almost a year old by now. She will always be our first creation together, and we cant wait to meet her one day.
I have been having more and more "braxton hicks" contractions and when they happen I feel crampy all over. I guess that's just my body practicing for the real thing, but whenever they happen I always wonder...are they going to get worse or go away? Its exciting and fun and I cant wait till they do start getting worse and I can say "its time!"
A prayer request....we are asking God to lead us to a decision for our housing. We have an option with a condo in Milford, but we know we want to own our own home someday. The tax credit has been expanded until May or April (cant remember) and we are debating just saving money until then and trying to get into a home. Just pray God gives us direction in this area.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
34 weeks
It has been a busy week! We met with the maternal fetal specialist and found out our little guy is measuring 3 weeks ahead and is around 7 lbs. Quite a surprise when at this gestation they are supposed to be around 5 lbs. But hey, we might just have a big baby! Everything looked great, cervix was long and closed. They did a non stress test and there was no contractions. She still was leaning towards the steroid shots, but I politely refused. They also did a surprise 4d ultrasound and we got some amazing pictures of him, he is super cute! Our baby is in God's hands, and I know that he wont be born till hes good and ready.
We also had our baby shower, and got so many wonderful gifts for Judah. He is one lucky little guy. He needs his own bookshelf for how many books we got! We feel completely overwhelmed with the love that was poured out on us and Judah. My next appt with my midwife is Nov 6th and after that I will go to see her every week until he arrives! We are so excited to meet him, and know he is going to be such a blessing in our lives.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
33 weeks
It has been an interesting week! Sunday night we went to the Birth Center to make sure my water did not break, because I felt like I was leaking. Well to our surprise I was having regular contractions that I wasn't feeling. They gave me some awful med's to stop the contractions which seemed to work, and then took a test called a fetal fibrinectin test. What it means is if its negative you are safe from going into labor for at least 7 days. Well mine came back positive, which means I have about a 30% chance of going into labor in the next 7-14 days. They talked about steroid shots for his lungs and even considered keeping me over night. My cervix was still closed and thick so he decided to let me go home and wait on the steroids. We have an appt with a Maternal Fetal Specialist tomorrow morning where we will most likely be getting an ultrasound to see the length of my cervix. The specialist wants us to get the steroid shots regardless of the cervix length. However they do not give the shot if you are 34 weeks or after. We have 6 days until we are 34 weeks so we are on the fence. We are leaning towards not getting them because we feel that God is not going to let Judah come if hes not ready. We trust him 100% with our little guy. I also have a UTI which can cause contractions so hopefully treating that will help and stop the contractions. We would like for him to stay put till at least 36 weeks. Keep us in your prayers, and we will see you all at the baby shower!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
In Love
I absolutely love being pregnant. I feel so incredibly blessed to have this little person growing in me and that I get to be his mommy. He is getting so big, his little butt is always poking out. I love to feel him and try to guess what I am feeling. Its such an amazing experience. I only have 4 and half weeks till I'm considered full term. Its amazing how fast time has gone.
I feel completely at peace with the birthing process and feel with the support of my husband and my midwife I will be able to have the natural birth I am wanting. Lance is going to be an amazing coach, he is so attentive, patient, and loving.
I have never felt the amount of love I feel for my son. I know it will only intensify when I see him. This is just such an awesome experience and I thank God every day for this gift. I know its not a given. There are plenty of women who cannot have children, or struggle. Yes we had our struggle, with loosing our Josiah. But now we are here, with a healthy little boy growing safely. I still miss our little beanie every day. I remember what it felt like to find out we were pregnant with her. She is our first little one, our child. We have one child in heaven and pretty soon will have one here with us. I know will we see our baby again someday. Our sweet angel.
Our baby shower is next Saturday and we had a lot of people RSVP. We are excited to celebrate our little guy with all of our family and friends. It wont be long till Judah will be here! :)
I feel completely at peace with the birthing process and feel with the support of my husband and my midwife I will be able to have the natural birth I am wanting. Lance is going to be an amazing coach, he is so attentive, patient, and loving.
I have never felt the amount of love I feel for my son. I know it will only intensify when I see him. This is just such an awesome experience and I thank God every day for this gift. I know its not a given. There are plenty of women who cannot have children, or struggle. Yes we had our struggle, with loosing our Josiah. But now we are here, with a healthy little boy growing safely. I still miss our little beanie every day. I remember what it felt like to find out we were pregnant with her. She is our first little one, our child. We have one child in heaven and pretty soon will have one here with us. I know will we see our baby again someday. Our sweet angel.
Our baby shower is next Saturday and we had a lot of people RSVP. We are excited to celebrate our little guy with all of our family and friends. It wont be long till Judah will be here! :)
Monday, October 12, 2009
30 and 31 weeks
We are rounding the corner of the end of this pregnancy and the beginning of our new life! We could not be more excited for this little guy. At our 30 week appt, I was measuring 32 weeks, and his heartrate was in the 140's which is great. He is also head down, which hopefully he stays that way! I also go to the midwife more then I used too, but the best thing about a midwife, is instead of a mandatory every 2 weeks she says 2-3 weeks, so of course I picked 3 weeks. At 36 weeks we will go every week until he comes!
I have still been feeling really good. Some aches and pains, but nothing I cant handle. Hes an active little guy and LOVES his daddy's voice. He always starts moving when Lance talks. Its getting a little tight in there for him now, and I am feeling little knees, elbows, hands and feet sticking out all over. If I push on his little butt he will always push back, which its fun to interact with him before hes here. Hes practicing his breathing alot, because he gets the hiccups quite a bit now. My whole belly shakes when he hiccups!
We had our birthing class this past Sat. and we found it extremely interesting and informative. I feel alot more prepared to have the natural birth I want. Also I'm glad Lance got to learn different techniques to help me through the contractions. It definitly made labor not seem as scary, because they explained everything really well. All in all im excited to meet this little guy soon, in 5 weeks I'll be considered full term!
We are prepared to be at Lance's parents house with Judah for a little bit if we need too, it will be tight but all that matters is I am going to be there for him, thats most important to me. I am looking at finding a part time nanny job where I can take him, and have an interview this week sometime for one that starts in January.
Our baby shower is in 2 weeks and we are super excited to celebrate our litte guy with family and friends. I love my aunts and cousins that I dont get to see very often, so I am excited to see them!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
28 and 29 weeks
We are getting so close! We are very excited to have 8-10 weeks left till we meet our son. He has blessed us so much already, and we know the blessings will continue for the rest of his life.
Our Pastor got a word from God about Judah. Psalms 1: Blessed is Judah who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But Judah's delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law Judah meditates day and night. Judah is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yeilds its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever Judah does will prosper.
One thing I have felt since we conceived, is that God was preparing me for a child that would do great things for the Lord. I never really understood why I felt this way, or what the great things would be. We have had more then a few people speak some powerful things into his life. As soon as our Pastor said this I looked at Lance and could barely get out the words "I have known this for a long time." I felt so much emotion because God was confirming to us what he has been telling me all along. He also told me that I am about to birth a powerful man of God. Later on, he told me that I should be researching biographies about great men in history, christian or not.
I don't know what God has planned for Judah, but I will continue to pray for him and love him, and help mold him into the man God has intended for him to be. He is our little miracle! I am still in awe every day of him, and we are already feel so protective over him. I never get tired of feeling him move and talking to him. Hes my little buddy and his mommy and daddy cannot wait to meet him!
On to our 28 week appt, it went really well. We had some blood work done including the glucose test again. Everything came back good except for my Vitamin D levels are low so I am now on a supplement. Sometimes I wish I could just take my prenatals and be done with it, but its all worth it. I now take 3 prenatals a day (I buy my own because I perfer wholefood organic vitamins and you take one with every meal), I take 4000mg of folic acid, a baby aspirin, 600mg of calcium (twice a day), prenatal DHA, and now 50,000 units of vitamin D once a week. So my day is surrounded by remembering to take all of this stuff, but as long as my little guy is getting what he needs to be smart and grow, its all worth it :)
Lance and I are still praying for God to lead us to an affordable place to live so I can stay home with the baby. We know he will provide!
Our Pastor got a word from God about Judah. Psalms 1: Blessed is Judah who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But Judah's delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law Judah meditates day and night. Judah is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yeilds its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever Judah does will prosper.
One thing I have felt since we conceived, is that God was preparing me for a child that would do great things for the Lord. I never really understood why I felt this way, or what the great things would be. We have had more then a few people speak some powerful things into his life. As soon as our Pastor said this I looked at Lance and could barely get out the words "I have known this for a long time." I felt so much emotion because God was confirming to us what he has been telling me all along. He also told me that I am about to birth a powerful man of God. Later on, he told me that I should be researching biographies about great men in history, christian or not.
I don't know what God has planned for Judah, but I will continue to pray for him and love him, and help mold him into the man God has intended for him to be. He is our little miracle! I am still in awe every day of him, and we are already feel so protective over him. I never get tired of feeling him move and talking to him. Hes my little buddy and his mommy and daddy cannot wait to meet him!
On to our 28 week appt, it went really well. We had some blood work done including the glucose test again. Everything came back good except for my Vitamin D levels are low so I am now on a supplement. Sometimes I wish I could just take my prenatals and be done with it, but its all worth it. I now take 3 prenatals a day (I buy my own because I perfer wholefood organic vitamins and you take one with every meal), I take 4000mg of folic acid, a baby aspirin, 600mg of calcium (twice a day), prenatal DHA, and now 50,000 units of vitamin D once a week. So my day is surrounded by remembering to take all of this stuff, but as long as my little guy is getting what he needs to be smart and grow, its all worth it :)
Lance and I are still praying for God to lead us to an affordable place to live so I can stay home with the baby. We know he will provide!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
26 and 27 weeks
1 more week till the 3rd trimester! I cant believe we are getting so close to meeting this amazing little boy. Sometimes it seems so far away, but then I remember, 3 months is not that long. He has been moving around alot, but had a couple of days last week where he wasnt. We of course were concerned, but I think he was in a different position, because he has been moving like crazy the past 2 days. We bought his carseat/stroller this past week. That made things seem alot more real. Thats the first big purchase for the little guy.
My last day at the daycare is the 16th. I am a little nervous not having a job, but I know God will provide. He will lead us to affordable, safe housing. With Lance working and going to school full time, buying a home right now would be too much stress on him. Our marriage and our little boy are #1, and we are willing to make sacrifices to reduce any unneeded stress. Our goal is to have a place by the time Judah gets here, but boy is that coming fast! We just ask for prayers for direction and guidance so we know where to go next.
I have to do the glucose test again at my next appt, I am praying I pass and everything goes smoothly.
My last day at the daycare is the 16th. I am a little nervous not having a job, but I know God will provide. He will lead us to affordable, safe housing. With Lance working and going to school full time, buying a home right now would be too much stress on him. Our marriage and our little boy are #1, and we are willing to make sacrifices to reduce any unneeded stress. Our goal is to have a place by the time Judah gets here, but boy is that coming fast! We just ask for prayers for direction and guidance so we know where to go next.
I have to do the glucose test again at my next appt, I am praying I pass and everything goes smoothly.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
God, give us direction
I dont have a ton of time to write, but I just needed to express some of my concerns as of lately.
Judah will be here in 3 months, I cant believe it! We have so many decisions to make right now. As you all know we have been looking to buy a house, but after alot of seeking and praying I feel like God is saying not right now. Again I dont know what this means, or why we keep getting led into the house buying market, and then at the last minute it doesnt work out. I will not allow myself to be confused, and I just ask that God keeps showing us where to go.
Also I may be leaving my job. Lets face it, I am making $500 a month, to drive 45 minutes both ways. Not to mention the impending flu season ahead. I trust the Lord, but I also know that we do get sick at times, and this is not a time I want to be sick. 6 out of the 20 pregnant women who have caught h1n1 have died, without even seeing their babies first. I refuse to live in fear, but I also use the wisdom God has given me to protect myself and my baby.
So where does that leave us? I am not sure, all I ask is for prayers, that God leads us where we are truly meant to be. My first priority is my son and my marriage, and I refuse to put us in a situation that jeopordizes either of those. It is very important to me to be home with my son, and I dont want to be in a situation where I would have to be away from him, at least not for a while.
Thanks for listening.
Judah will be here in 3 months, I cant believe it! We have so many decisions to make right now. As you all know we have been looking to buy a house, but after alot of seeking and praying I feel like God is saying not right now. Again I dont know what this means, or why we keep getting led into the house buying market, and then at the last minute it doesnt work out. I will not allow myself to be confused, and I just ask that God keeps showing us where to go.
Also I may be leaving my job. Lets face it, I am making $500 a month, to drive 45 minutes both ways. Not to mention the impending flu season ahead. I trust the Lord, but I also know that we do get sick at times, and this is not a time I want to be sick. 6 out of the 20 pregnant women who have caught h1n1 have died, without even seeing their babies first. I refuse to live in fear, but I also use the wisdom God has given me to protect myself and my baby.
So where does that leave us? I am not sure, all I ask is for prayers, that God leads us where we are truly meant to be. My first priority is my son and my marriage, and I refuse to put us in a situation that jeopordizes either of those. It is very important to me to be home with my son, and I dont want to be in a situation where I would have to be away from him, at least not for a while.
Thanks for listening.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
25 weeks
Not much has changed this week, except Judah keeps getting bigger! I love watching my belly move around, and see little limbs pop out here and there, its pretty much my favorite past time. He seems to have real active days, and then quiets down for a day or two. I am learning what his schedule is too which is fun. We have a little over 3 months left!
We are going to start the search for our house soon, and getting excited/nervous about that. lso I am still searching for a different job. I am looking for something part time, and am hoping after Judah is born I can possibly work out a schedule or find a babysitting/nanny job that I can do while taking him. So if you know of anyone :)
Hope everyone is having a good end to the summer!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
22, 23, 24 weeks
So I am a little behind, but our computer has been not working. Everything has been going very well! We are currently in our 24th week, even though our little guy is measuring at 25 weeks. He is moving around ALOT. I love that part, feeling his little bumps, and feet rolling against my hand. Its awesome being able to feel my baby against my hand before I can actually hold him.
We had a ultrasound at 23 weeks to recheck the placenta, and it is now "borderline" which means its in the normal range for its thickness. Praise God! It is no longer a concern, so no more ultrasounds to check on the placenta. The baby looked great! I have some pics but our scanner isnt working. I even got the "I'm definitly a boy" pic. Its very obvious, lol. The only other ultrasound they suggested is one at 36 weeks, IF my midwife feels its neccesary, and its just to check his growth to make sure hes not going to be to big. I will take a big baby over a small one any day, it means he is healthy! :)
We had a tour at the hospital last night, there must have been about 50 pregnant ladies there. it was a lot of fun, and we got to see where we will give birth. Such a relaxing atmsophere, it doesnt even feel like your in a hospital.
At my 28 week appt (3rd trimester, yay!) I am going to do the glucose test again, and also get checked for anemia. I know they will come back normal. God is giving me the pregnancy I have always wanted, uncomplicated and healthy! After our loss last year I almost didnt believe it could be this way, but God has blessed us with a healthy baby boy, and we praise him for Judah every day. Which by the way, Judah means "Praise". Fits him very well :)
We just keep praying for health, and for him to finish growing before he tries to make his appearance. Also we are looking for a house so we pray he helps us find an affordable, safe home to raise our son, and our future children in.
We had a ultrasound at 23 weeks to recheck the placenta, and it is now "borderline" which means its in the normal range for its thickness. Praise God! It is no longer a concern, so no more ultrasounds to check on the placenta. The baby looked great! I have some pics but our scanner isnt working. I even got the "I'm definitly a boy" pic. Its very obvious, lol. The only other ultrasound they suggested is one at 36 weeks, IF my midwife feels its neccesary, and its just to check his growth to make sure hes not going to be to big. I will take a big baby over a small one any day, it means he is healthy! :)
We had a tour at the hospital last night, there must have been about 50 pregnant ladies there. it was a lot of fun, and we got to see where we will give birth. Such a relaxing atmsophere, it doesnt even feel like your in a hospital.
At my 28 week appt (3rd trimester, yay!) I am going to do the glucose test again, and also get checked for anemia. I know they will come back normal. God is giving me the pregnancy I have always wanted, uncomplicated and healthy! After our loss last year I almost didnt believe it could be this way, but God has blessed us with a healthy baby boy, and we praise him for Judah every day. Which by the way, Judah means "Praise". Fits him very well :)
We just keep praying for health, and for him to finish growing before he tries to make his appearance. Also we are looking for a house so we pray he helps us find an affordable, safe home to raise our son, and our future children in.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
20 and 21 weeks...
So we are half way to meeting our little guy! Everything is still going good, except for the colds I keep getting, thanks to where I work. Little Judah has been moving quite a bit, and Daddy got to feel him moving this past Sunday! Now every time he moves, and I try to get Lance to feel, he will stop moving. I told Judah last night, "Tell your Daddy to be nice to Mommy" and he immediately kicked me. It was super cute. We are both so in love with this little guy already!
My belly is definitly growing, and I am looking pregnant rather then chunky, lol. We have a midwife appt August 11th and a repeat ultrasound on the 14th. So far all of my blood work has cam back normal for gestational diabetes, and my homocysteine levels. Praise God! We decided not to do any prenatal testing other then the ultrasound because of the risk of false positives, and the fact that it would not change anything.
We just got back from Judah's first wedding, and he now has a new Aunt! It was a beautiful wedding, and we are so excited for the two of them. I am not so sure he enjoyed all the music though, he wasnt moving much, and the next day I barely felt him at all, I think he was recovering, lol.
Our family reunion is this weekend, which I am praying for safety and health for all of us so we can enjoy our time together. At the next reunion Judah will be 1 and half already!
I am currently praying that God shows me a new form of income, because I cannot work with kids anymore. I am getting colds all the time, and with flu season approaching, and the swine flu, I dont want to expose myself and mostly Judah to all the germs.
7 more weeks and we are in the 3rd trimester! :)
My belly is definitly growing, and I am looking pregnant rather then chunky, lol. We have a midwife appt August 11th and a repeat ultrasound on the 14th. So far all of my blood work has cam back normal for gestational diabetes, and my homocysteine levels. Praise God! We decided not to do any prenatal testing other then the ultrasound because of the risk of false positives, and the fact that it would not change anything.
We just got back from Judah's first wedding, and he now has a new Aunt! It was a beautiful wedding, and we are so excited for the two of them. I am not so sure he enjoyed all the music though, he wasnt moving much, and the next day I barely felt him at all, I think he was recovering, lol.
Our family reunion is this weekend, which I am praying for safety and health for all of us so we can enjoy our time together. At the next reunion Judah will be 1 and half already!
I am currently praying that God shows me a new form of income, because I cannot work with kids anymore. I am getting colds all the time, and with flu season approaching, and the swine flu, I dont want to expose myself and mostly Judah to all the germs.
7 more weeks and we are in the 3rd trimester! :)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
19 weeks
Introducing Judah! Hes praising God already :)
Almost half way!! We had our ultrasound this past Friday...and I've come to the conclusion I really dont enjoy them. At least the way they do them at the hospital. It takes forever....and they dont really show you anything until the end. So why they are "analyzing" your baby, its silent and uncomfortable. However we were so happy to find out we are having a little boy!! I didnt get a pic of the "boy parts" and was kind of upset about it, but it was pretty obvious. So little Judah will be here in about 20 weeks!
We had our 19 week appt today, and everything is going good. The ultrasound report came back and our baby is completely healthy! The only thing they saw was the placenta was thicker then normal. Which our midwife said 99% of the time it means nothing, and the things they normally see with a thickened placenta, we dont have issues with. She gave us the option of having a repeat ultrasound done in a month, and I am not sure if I want too. I am putting this baby/placenta in God's hands. However it could mean gestational diabetes, which I get tested for in a month as well. Just pray that I am healthy and dont have that! She did say in the 15 years she has been doing this, she has never seen it amount to anything, so that was reasurring. Our baby is in the 68th percentile and she said sometimes bigger baby = bigger placenta.
I have been feeling Judah move pretty much every day but still not very consistently. I have an anterior placenta, which means its in the front, and can be padding his movements, and can take longer to feel more distinct movements. So far so good, and we are just believing that our baby will remain healthy and our placenta is normal and supplying him with all he needs. I just love this little guy so much already, and am excited to meet him!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
18 weeks
This is the week we have been waiting for! We have our ultrasound this Friday and are praying that our little one is in a good position so we can see what we are having!! This week I have been pretty sore from all the growing. I have also been feeling more and more movement. Last night was the first time the baby moved for a good 15 minutes straight (where I could feel it) I even felt 3 really good kicks! I think the baby was in just the right position, because it felt like he/she was doing gymnastics in there. I cant believe we are almost half way through the pregnancy. December still seems so far away!I still sometimes think about the "what if's" but I know God's hand is on this baby. Everytime I start to play scenarios in my head I have to stop myself and pray about it. I dont want to agree with anything negative for this baby.
We have so much going on with work, youth group, Lance starting school in the fall, looking for a home, the baby, needing a new car. But we know God has a plan and I can feel it all coming together. We don't know where we will be in 6 months, but we do know that we will have a new little person to love, and we will be following God's will for our lifes, and that is everything.
Of course I will update sometime Friday with the ultrasound pic's....boy or girl?!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
17 weeks and a ER visit
In general, everything has been going really good. Minus the nasty cold and bladder infection, lol. This baby is growing, and so is my belly. I have been feeling little movements, and I cant wait for them to get stronger and more consistent. Also its cool to know our little one can hear us now. Our ultrasound is 1 week, 1 day away :)
As for the ER visit, I woke up yesterday morning in extreme pain. I had to have Lance help me off of the bed, and was having trouble walking. It was on my left side, so my first thought was round ligament pain. I talked to a couple different nurses, and they both said to go to the ER to be evaluated, because round ligament pain normally doesnt last that long or is that severe. So after we got there, we talked to a Dr. and he wanted to do blood work, pelvic exam, urine analysis, and a ultrasound. I honestly thought the ultrasound would be mostly to check the baby and make sure my ovary was okay. Little did I know it was a full blown ultrasound, measuring the baby and all. It was so neat to see our little person moving around, putting their hand in their mouth, just being cute :) He/she was measuring about 17 weeks 5-6 days on everything. We even got to see its little stomach and bladder, so neat! However thanks to me almost passing out towards the end, we didnt get any good pictures or get to check the sex. I guess God really wants us to wait for next Friday. During the ultrasound I started to feel extremely hot, and sweating like crazy. Lance thought I was exagerating, but I finally told the ultrasound tech to stop because I think I am going to pass out. All of the sudden I could barely hear and my vision got blurry. A paramedic and nurse came in and took my blood pressure which was 84 over 44 which is pretty low. Once I started to feel better, and they took it again and it was 112 over 60 something. I think because of laying on my back and maybe the baby was on a main blood vessel which was cutting the blood supply off and making me woozy. Then we went up to the Maternity floor where my midwife was on call (yay) and she talked to us for a bit, and said the ultrasound looked great, my ovaries looked great, and there is no sign of apendicitis or anything like that. She pretty much said it was probably severe round ligament pain and from coughing alot it made it worse.
So all in all, I am on "medical leave" until Monday, and am feeling a lot better today. To be honest I never felt fear during this whole process, and I know its because God has given me peace about this child, and that we will hold this little one in Dec. We get another ultrasound next Friday, and I will try not to pass out so we can know who this little one is. We are so in love with this baby already, and cannot wait to meet him/her!!!!
As for the ER visit, I woke up yesterday morning in extreme pain. I had to have Lance help me off of the bed, and was having trouble walking. It was on my left side, so my first thought was round ligament pain. I talked to a couple different nurses, and they both said to go to the ER to be evaluated, because round ligament pain normally doesnt last that long or is that severe. So after we got there, we talked to a Dr. and he wanted to do blood work, pelvic exam, urine analysis, and a ultrasound. I honestly thought the ultrasound would be mostly to check the baby and make sure my ovary was okay. Little did I know it was a full blown ultrasound, measuring the baby and all. It was so neat to see our little person moving around, putting their hand in their mouth, just being cute :) He/she was measuring about 17 weeks 5-6 days on everything. We even got to see its little stomach and bladder, so neat! However thanks to me almost passing out towards the end, we didnt get any good pictures or get to check the sex. I guess God really wants us to wait for next Friday. During the ultrasound I started to feel extremely hot, and sweating like crazy. Lance thought I was exagerating, but I finally told the ultrasound tech to stop because I think I am going to pass out. All of the sudden I could barely hear and my vision got blurry. A paramedic and nurse came in and took my blood pressure which was 84 over 44 which is pretty low. Once I started to feel better, and they took it again and it was 112 over 60 something. I think because of laying on my back and maybe the baby was on a main blood vessel which was cutting the blood supply off and making me woozy. Then we went up to the Maternity floor where my midwife was on call (yay) and she talked to us for a bit, and said the ultrasound looked great, my ovaries looked great, and there is no sign of apendicitis or anything like that. She pretty much said it was probably severe round ligament pain and from coughing alot it made it worse.
So all in all, I am on "medical leave" until Monday, and am feeling a lot better today. To be honest I never felt fear during this whole process, and I know its because God has given me peace about this child, and that we will hold this little one in Dec. We get another ultrasound next Friday, and I will try not to pass out so we can know who this little one is. We are so in love with this baby already, and cannot wait to meet him/her!!!!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
16 weeks
I dreamed of what it would be like to be 16 weeks pregnant, I'm not sure why but I always thought of that as a milestone. This baby is 4 weeks older then our Josiah. We praise God every day for this baby, and I love to see my stomach changing, its so neat. I have a picture I took of my stomach this morning, and I am definitly popping out! I am pretty sure I have felt very light movement, but I have to stay real still and queit to feel it. I cant wait to feel a kick, and more frequent movements.
Tomorrow it will have been 1 year since we lost our sweet angel. Lance and I have been thinking alot about Josiah this week. I still miss her every single day. I think about how I would have a almost 6 month old, but then I think about the fact I probably wouldnt be pregnant with this little miracle either. Every time I see a baby around the age she would be, I just smile in rememberance of our little one. So we celebrate her life, her short little 3 months she lived in this world. How she changed us, and brought us closer together and to God. She was our little miracle and we cant wait to meet her someday.
We have about 2 and a half weeks till our ultrasound, and cannot wait to find out what we are having. I keep asking the baby if its a Judah, or a Eliana. No response as of yet, lol. I really dont know what I think, but I honestly dont care boy or girl, so maybe thats why I dont have an "intuition."
Morning sickness has come back a little bit, but I cant complain, everything has been uncomplicated and going perfectly!
Tomorrow it will have been 1 year since we lost our sweet angel. Lance and I have been thinking alot about Josiah this week. I still miss her every single day. I think about how I would have a almost 6 month old, but then I think about the fact I probably wouldnt be pregnant with this little miracle either. Every time I see a baby around the age she would be, I just smile in rememberance of our little one. So we celebrate her life, her short little 3 months she lived in this world. How she changed us, and brought us closer together and to God. She was our little miracle and we cant wait to meet her someday.
We have about 2 and a half weeks till our ultrasound, and cannot wait to find out what we are having. I keep asking the baby if its a Judah, or a Eliana. No response as of yet, lol. I really dont know what I think, but I honestly dont care boy or girl, so maybe thats why I dont have an "intuition."
Morning sickness has come back a little bit, but I cant complain, everything has been uncomplicated and going perfectly!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
15 weeks
So here we are, the 2nd week into the 2nd trimester, yay! I have been feeling pretty good, just hungry all the time. Literally, I always feel like im starving. This makes me a little nervous because I don't want to get huge, but at the same time I want to make sure this baby is getting all the nutrition it needs. So I have been trying to have healthy snacks. It seems between 1 and dinner time is when I want to eat. I have to bring like 3-4 snacks to work, I usually eat them all and then I'm starving on the way home.
We bought a doppler, such a cool investment. We try not to use it alot, but when we do its so neat to hear that little babies heartbeat, and I can hear when its kicking too, even though I dont feel it quite yet. Usually once I find the baby, it moves away within a second, and I have to search to find the heartbeat again. Its been ranging in the 140's which is perfect.
I lost some weight in the first trimester, but I think I have put on about 2 lbs in a little over a week. I am hoping to keep that to 1 lb a week or less, which is technically normal.
We have about 3 weeks until our ultrasound, and we will know if this baby is Eliana or Judah. Any guesses? I really have no idea! They say your supposed to have mothers intuition, but honestly if I had to guess I would say boy, but only because I know theres a 50% chance I am right.
Sorry I havent posted belly pics, but I cannot find the cord to my camera. Once I do, I will :)
We bought a doppler, such a cool investment. We try not to use it alot, but when we do its so neat to hear that little babies heartbeat, and I can hear when its kicking too, even though I dont feel it quite yet. Usually once I find the baby, it moves away within a second, and I have to search to find the heartbeat again. Its been ranging in the 140's which is perfect.
I lost some weight in the first trimester, but I think I have put on about 2 lbs in a little over a week. I am hoping to keep that to 1 lb a week or less, which is technically normal.
We have about 3 weeks until our ultrasound, and we will know if this baby is Eliana or Judah. Any guesses? I really have no idea! They say your supposed to have mothers intuition, but honestly if I had to guess I would say boy, but only because I know theres a 50% chance I am right.
Sorry I havent posted belly pics, but I cannot find the cord to my camera. Once I do, I will :)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
14 weeks (and our testimony)
We finally made it to the 2nd trimester! I am starting to feel better, and actually starting to feel pregnant. I still have some morning sickness, but its hit or miss. It feels so good to be past the point where we lost Josiah, and its extremely relieving. This may be a long post as I would like to talk about my appt, and also our testimony this past year.
First, the appt went great! My blood pressure is down, which I know its only a little high because I get so darn nervous. I felt a sense of calm and peace during the appt which was great, I know we had a lot of people praying for us. My midwife asked me lots of questions, and even asked if I have felt movement yet, which I said, if I am, I wouldnt know what it feels like. But she said its still early, and by 16-18 weeks I should be feeling something in there. Then came the awaited heartbeat check....We both felt very calm, even when she didnt find it right away. She went a little lower, and there is was! In the 160's which is perfect. I could listen to that all day long! I looked over at Lance and I could see tears in his eyes, and I started to cry which knocked the doppler right off my belly. Then we got our paperwork for our gender ultrasound, which will be July 10th! I will be 18 weeks and we will finally be able to call this little person by name. Also I am measuring a little bigger then 14 weeks, which makes sense because the baby was measuring almost a week bigger in the 8 week ultrasound.
So on to our story. Last year at this time I was pregnant, getting ready to move, and for my brothers wedding. We were due December 31st. At this point I had heard her little heartbeat many times on a doppler I had rented. I thought everything was going to be fine. After we moved we had our first appt here with our midwife and that is where we found her heart had stopped sometime in the last week. I cant explain the grief we felt. Not only did we loose our baby, but my body would just not let go, so I had a D&C. I struggled with that decision for a long time, like I did something wrong. To make a really long story short, we spent the rest of the summer in grief. We prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I got tests done, the told me my baby was a healthy girl, and they didnt know why this happened. So then my midwife did some blood work, and found a genetic mutation of mthfr. Which essentially doesnt allow your body to absorb folic acid like it should, which can cause high homocysteine levels and blood clots. They thought maybe the placenta had blood clots and that is why the baby died. So I went to a specialist who said since my homocysteine levels are normal, that I do not need to do anything special. However I took it upon myself and with the counsel of my midwife, family, and of course praying about it, we decided to take extra folic acid (4 times the normal amount) and a baby aspirin. We figured it couldnt hurt, but it may help.
We thought we would get pregnant right away, but had to wait 3 months to start trying , because of all the tests. Then about 4 months into trying to concieve, I went to see my OB for a normal checkup. She took some blood because I was having discharge from my breasts and she thought maybe my body was thinking it needed to make milk and my prolactin levels were high. So when we get the results that the prolactin levels were high, she wanted to test again in a couple of weeks to see what they were during another time in my cycle. Well the day before my test, Lance prayed over me, we asked God to regulate my body. I went in for the tests and it was all normal, Praise God!
Another time throughout trying to conceive, Lance annointed my womb with oils and asked for the holy spirit to come and heal anything that may be preventing me from getting pregnant. I felt a warm, tingly sensation right over where my uterus would be, and it lasted for a good 2 hours, at that point I knew God had healed my womb.
The month we got pregnant, I was upset because my periods were so irregular, and I never knew if they would come at 28, 31, or 38 days. So about 14 days into a cycle, Lance prayed over me that God would regulate my cycles, and the next day, I started what I thought was just mid cycle bleeding. It lasted for 5 days and was extremely light. I called my OB and she said even though it came in the middle of your cycle, to count it as a period because it lasted 5 days. So about 15 days from that (I was charting my temps for ovulation) we conceived this little miracle! So that mid cycle bleeding was not a fluke, it was God restoring my body back. 9 months after we lost our little one, we were expecting a new little one!
Its been a long 14 weeks, but here we are. This year feels alot like last year, except with no grief and sadness, only JOY! We moved, we have a wedding to go to, and im pregnant and due in the same month. Only this time God is rewriting our story. He has blessed us so much and we are so greatful for everything he is doing in our lives.
Thank you for all the prayers for us and this baby!
First, the appt went great! My blood pressure is down, which I know its only a little high because I get so darn nervous. I felt a sense of calm and peace during the appt which was great, I know we had a lot of people praying for us. My midwife asked me lots of questions, and even asked if I have felt movement yet, which I said, if I am, I wouldnt know what it feels like. But she said its still early, and by 16-18 weeks I should be feeling something in there. Then came the awaited heartbeat check....We both felt very calm, even when she didnt find it right away. She went a little lower, and there is was! In the 160's which is perfect. I could listen to that all day long! I looked over at Lance and I could see tears in his eyes, and I started to cry which knocked the doppler right off my belly. Then we got our paperwork for our gender ultrasound, which will be July 10th! I will be 18 weeks and we will finally be able to call this little person by name. Also I am measuring a little bigger then 14 weeks, which makes sense because the baby was measuring almost a week bigger in the 8 week ultrasound.
So on to our story. Last year at this time I was pregnant, getting ready to move, and for my brothers wedding. We were due December 31st. At this point I had heard her little heartbeat many times on a doppler I had rented. I thought everything was going to be fine. After we moved we had our first appt here with our midwife and that is where we found her heart had stopped sometime in the last week. I cant explain the grief we felt. Not only did we loose our baby, but my body would just not let go, so I had a D&C. I struggled with that decision for a long time, like I did something wrong. To make a really long story short, we spent the rest of the summer in grief. We prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I got tests done, the told me my baby was a healthy girl, and they didnt know why this happened. So then my midwife did some blood work, and found a genetic mutation of mthfr. Which essentially doesnt allow your body to absorb folic acid like it should, which can cause high homocysteine levels and blood clots. They thought maybe the placenta had blood clots and that is why the baby died. So I went to a specialist who said since my homocysteine levels are normal, that I do not need to do anything special. However I took it upon myself and with the counsel of my midwife, family, and of course praying about it, we decided to take extra folic acid (4 times the normal amount) and a baby aspirin. We figured it couldnt hurt, but it may help.
We thought we would get pregnant right away, but had to wait 3 months to start trying , because of all the tests. Then about 4 months into trying to concieve, I went to see my OB for a normal checkup. She took some blood because I was having discharge from my breasts and she thought maybe my body was thinking it needed to make milk and my prolactin levels were high. So when we get the results that the prolactin levels were high, she wanted to test again in a couple of weeks to see what they were during another time in my cycle. Well the day before my test, Lance prayed over me, we asked God to regulate my body. I went in for the tests and it was all normal, Praise God!
Another time throughout trying to conceive, Lance annointed my womb with oils and asked for the holy spirit to come and heal anything that may be preventing me from getting pregnant. I felt a warm, tingly sensation right over where my uterus would be, and it lasted for a good 2 hours, at that point I knew God had healed my womb.
The month we got pregnant, I was upset because my periods were so irregular, and I never knew if they would come at 28, 31, or 38 days. So about 14 days into a cycle, Lance prayed over me that God would regulate my cycles, and the next day, I started what I thought was just mid cycle bleeding. It lasted for 5 days and was extremely light. I called my OB and she said even though it came in the middle of your cycle, to count it as a period because it lasted 5 days. So about 15 days from that (I was charting my temps for ovulation) we conceived this little miracle! So that mid cycle bleeding was not a fluke, it was God restoring my body back. 9 months after we lost our little one, we were expecting a new little one!
Its been a long 14 weeks, but here we are. This year feels alot like last year, except with no grief and sadness, only JOY! We moved, we have a wedding to go to, and im pregnant and due in the same month. Only this time God is rewriting our story. He has blessed us so much and we are so greatful for everything he is doing in our lives.
Thank you for all the prayers for us and this baby!
Monday, June 8, 2009
13 weeks 5 days
Just a quick update, we have our 14 week appt tomorrow, and are very anxious to hear that heartbeat. Its a different kind of feeling for me, because when we lost Josiah, I had no symptoms that I had miscarried. I was even still feeling pretty sick. Even though I feel in my heart everything will be okay, I still ask myself...what if...so I just ask for prayers for Lance and I, we will be at our appt at 9:30 am tomorrow. Please pray for peace, and a strong healthy heartbeat. I swear this day could not go by any slower!
I will update tomorrow.
I will update tomorrow.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
12 weeks
Finally 12 weeks! This past week at church, my husband asked for prayer so we can be free of fear with this pregnancy, and I know this was a hard thing for him to do. We both felt a release on Sunday when we were being prayed over by our church family. We were told all sorts of amazing things that people heard from God about us. It was an amazing experience, God is so good! I have to say I havent felt any fear since then, even though thoughts will come in my head, but I immediatly recognize they are not from God, and renounce them. I still have some anxiety about just getting to our next appt and hearing that heartbeat, but I no longer am having the thoughts and fears I was having on a regular basis.
So for about a week now I have been throwing up every morning, and once I do, I feel better. Today I didnt though and I am hoping that means it will keep getting better now that I am close to the 2nd trimester. My appetite is still not the greatest but is definitly better. I am still loosing weight, but am not too concerned. I was getting more energy, and then all the sudden, I feel so sleepy again. I sleep 10 hours a night and still feel like a nap. Also my nose is stuffed all the time (which I guess is common). My pants still fit, but are not that comfortable. I am thinking in the next 2 weeks I wont be wearing them anymore.
We are officially moved, and I love the area out here, but it makes getting to work/church a challenge. I have been working 3 hours and have to drive 40 minutes each way. its kind of ridiculous. So I am praying God leads me to another job soon, or finds us that perfect house to buy.
Less then 2 weeks till our next appt, we are so excited to hear the heartbeat!
I will post a belly pic in the next couple of days, we havent taken one yet
So for about a week now I have been throwing up every morning, and once I do, I feel better. Today I didnt though and I am hoping that means it will keep getting better now that I am close to the 2nd trimester. My appetite is still not the greatest but is definitly better. I am still loosing weight, but am not too concerned. I was getting more energy, and then all the sudden, I feel so sleepy again. I sleep 10 hours a night and still feel like a nap. Also my nose is stuffed all the time (which I guess is common). My pants still fit, but are not that comfortable. I am thinking in the next 2 weeks I wont be wearing them anymore.
We are officially moved, and I love the area out here, but it makes getting to work/church a challenge. I have been working 3 hours and have to drive 40 minutes each way. its kind of ridiculous. So I am praying God leads me to another job soon, or finds us that perfect house to buy.
Less then 2 weeks till our next appt, we are so excited to hear the heartbeat!
I will post a belly pic in the next couple of days, we havent taken one yet
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
11 weeks
We are already more then 1/4 of the way to meeting our little one. 5 days away from when we lost our precious Josiah. 31 days away from when we found out about Josiah. 3 weeks away from our next appt where we can hear the heartbeat. Time is flying by.
I feel sort of guilty. I have been wanting to keep a written journal for this pregnancy, like I did with Josiah, but I havent. I also have been wanting to take belly pictures each month, and havent. For some reason I havent allowed myself to feel like this baby is to stay. I have been struggling alot with that lately. Then I realized, every time I doubt this baby, I am deliberately disobeying God. Wow. So from now on all I express is hope and love for this child. I cant control how long this child will be on the earth, but I do know this baby deserves ALL of her parents hope, not just some of it.
So my next post, when im 12 weeks (3 months) I will include our very first belly picture! And will take one every month after that so I can see my belly grow. Also I am going to start a journal. I figure at least I have these blog's that I can print off for now.
I've never been super skinny, but I can no longer suck in my stomach! I have had everyone comment on my belly lol. At first I was like, man I'm not supposed to be showing yet! But hey I love it, and cant wait for it to get bigger :) In a few weeks I will probably be in maternity clothes because A. my pants are getting tight, and B. they are so comfortable! I probably rub, and stare at my belly 20 times a day. Lance is starting to think im crazy, lol. I also started calling the baby "beanie", which is what I used to call Josiah. I didnt even think about it, it just came out of my mouth one day and now its stuck. Who knew a tiny 2 inch human could bring so much love into our lifes? Lance and I are so excited to become parents and love on this child. This baby will be so spoiled :)
I feel sort of guilty. I have been wanting to keep a written journal for this pregnancy, like I did with Josiah, but I havent. I also have been wanting to take belly pictures each month, and havent. For some reason I havent allowed myself to feel like this baby is to stay. I have been struggling alot with that lately. Then I realized, every time I doubt this baby, I am deliberately disobeying God. Wow. So from now on all I express is hope and love for this child. I cant control how long this child will be on the earth, but I do know this baby deserves ALL of her parents hope, not just some of it.
So my next post, when im 12 weeks (3 months) I will include our very first belly picture! And will take one every month after that so I can see my belly grow. Also I am going to start a journal. I figure at least I have these blog's that I can print off for now.
I've never been super skinny, but I can no longer suck in my stomach! I have had everyone comment on my belly lol. At first I was like, man I'm not supposed to be showing yet! But hey I love it, and cant wait for it to get bigger :) In a few weeks I will probably be in maternity clothes because A. my pants are getting tight, and B. they are so comfortable! I probably rub, and stare at my belly 20 times a day. Lance is starting to think im crazy, lol. I also started calling the baby "beanie", which is what I used to call Josiah. I didnt even think about it, it just came out of my mouth one day and now its stuck. Who knew a tiny 2 inch human could bring so much love into our lifes? Lance and I are so excited to become parents and love on this child. This baby will be so spoiled :)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
10 weeks
We had our 10 week appt, and it went very well. We didnt get to hear the heartbeat (we tried), so we got to see the baby for a minute and they had a strong heartbeat :) The baby looked like a little blob, because the machine was ancient, but we got to see what we were looking for. I lost 4 lbs, but our midwife isnt concerned, but she says im eating enough.
I have been having some pain in my low back/tailbone area. I injured my tailbone many years ago, and I was told it may be aggravated when I am pregnant, and I think its definitly agravated. I feel okay in the morning, but as the day goes on, it can be be pretty painful. I just keep praying, and am planning on seeing a chiropractor soon to see if I can get some relief. I am happy to know the baby is growing though, because its pushing on everything in there!
Other then that, we are moving, soon. We could definitly use any help we can get, as I am not allowed to pick anything up...according to Lance...lol...So we plan on getting some stuff moved this weekend to a storage unit and then the rest as we can throughout the week.
Work has been tough. I have decided if something doesnt change, I will not be there long. There is some stuff going on that makes me sick, and I cant stand to see children treated that way.
So all in all, we are good, healthy baby, and lots of packing to do!
I have been having some pain in my low back/tailbone area. I injured my tailbone many years ago, and I was told it may be aggravated when I am pregnant, and I think its definitly agravated. I feel okay in the morning, but as the day goes on, it can be be pretty painful. I just keep praying, and am planning on seeing a chiropractor soon to see if I can get some relief. I am happy to know the baby is growing though, because its pushing on everything in there!
Other then that, we are moving, soon. We could definitly use any help we can get, as I am not allowed to pick anything up...according to Lance...lol...So we plan on getting some stuff moved this weekend to a storage unit and then the rest as we can throughout the week.
Work has been tough. I have decided if something doesnt change, I will not be there long. There is some stuff going on that makes me sick, and I cant stand to see children treated that way.
So all in all, we are good, healthy baby, and lots of packing to do!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
9 weeks
So far time is flying by, I am praying the next 3 weeks fly by and I can breathe a sigh of relief.
I have been really emotional lately, and missing our little angel. She would have been 4 months old already. I love this baby in me so much, but Josiah will always be my first baby. I know I will meet her someday, but as her mommy I miss her so much.
I just ask that everyone keeps praying for us in the next few weeks, for peace, and comfort. Its strange, because last time this year, we were getting ready to move, in with his parents, and here we are again, and im pregnant, again. The situation feels the same, but I know its not. This time things will go right. My summer will not be full of grief and depression, it will be of joy and love. We have so much good happening right now, how could something go wrong?
Lance and I are so excited to start this youth group, it is a big passion of ours. We are looking to buy a house this fall, after we complete our housing program, and our real estate agent whom we love is getting approved so she can help us. Our little brother (well Lance's lol) is getting married in July, and we are excited to be able to visit Grand Rapids for that.
Gods timing is perfect, and it feels as if he is rewriting what happened last year. June 25th will be the anniversary of finding out about Josiah, and instead of being depressed we will be celebrating that I am 16 weeks pregnant with this little one. Praise God!
Thank you for all the prayers, and positive thoughts!
I have been really emotional lately, and missing our little angel. She would have been 4 months old already. I love this baby in me so much, but Josiah will always be my first baby. I know I will meet her someday, but as her mommy I miss her so much.
I just ask that everyone keeps praying for us in the next few weeks, for peace, and comfort. Its strange, because last time this year, we were getting ready to move, in with his parents, and here we are again, and im pregnant, again. The situation feels the same, but I know its not. This time things will go right. My summer will not be full of grief and depression, it will be of joy and love. We have so much good happening right now, how could something go wrong?
Lance and I are so excited to start this youth group, it is a big passion of ours. We are looking to buy a house this fall, after we complete our housing program, and our real estate agent whom we love is getting approved so she can help us. Our little brother (well Lance's lol) is getting married in July, and we are excited to be able to visit Grand Rapids for that.
Gods timing is perfect, and it feels as if he is rewriting what happened last year. June 25th will be the anniversary of finding out about Josiah, and instead of being depressed we will be celebrating that I am 16 weeks pregnant with this little one. Praise God!
Thank you for all the prayers, and positive thoughts!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
8 weeks
We had our ultrasound today, and as we went into the room, it brought back a flood of emotions from last time. It took all I had not to cry and I could tell Lance was feeling it too. But as soon as we saw that little baby, and I heard the words "theres the heartbeat" I cant tell you the relief I felt!
The heartbeat was 165 bpm, which is great for this age, and the baby measured 8 weeks, 5 days, which is a little ahead of what I thought. To see that little flicker was just the most amazing thing ever. Even though we lost our baby at 12 weeks, I had never seen the heartbeat on an ultrasound. However we had the joy of hearing Josiah's heartbeat many time because I rented a doppler for at home.
Anyway, I am just happy that we have a healthy little baby in there, and we pray that he/she continues to grow and thrive!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
7 weeks
We have had a pretty eventful week here. First we had some issues with the landlords, and we will be moving soon. We have some options, because we really want to save money for a house. We have a couple of family members offering us to stay with them for a few months until we can save up some more money, but we are not sure about it yet. I tried to not let it stress me out as much as possible...because I know God is in control.
Also Sat. night I got really sick....with a stomach bug I am assuming, considering some kids at the daycare had it...oh the joys of working with children. I couldnt keep anything down, not even a drop of water....so at 8 am we made the decision to go to the ER for fluids, and just to make sure baby was okay. They took my blood and we found out our hcg count was past 50,000 which is perfect for almost 7 weeks (Praise God!). Also they gave me some fluids and anti nausea med's to help keep the fluid down. Which thankfully it worked. I cant say enough about the new Henry Ford Hospital in West Bloomfield. It is so nice to walk in, get a private room/bathroom, and be seen by a Dr withing 10 minutes of arriving. The best part, no waiting room with a bunch of sick people! Also they have nice T.Vs in all the rooms so it keeps you occupied. I dont think I will ever go to another hospital, not that I want to go anyway lol.
So yeah thats pretty much it, I am feeling better, still having some tummy issues, but I dont know if its just from the pregnancy or left over stomach bug. I was able to eat some breakfast without feeling sick today so thats good! We have an ultrasound on the 30th when I am 8 weeks. We will definitly keep you updated about that!
Also Sat. night I got really sick....with a stomach bug I am assuming, considering some kids at the daycare had it...oh the joys of working with children. I couldnt keep anything down, not even a drop of water....so at 8 am we made the decision to go to the ER for fluids, and just to make sure baby was okay. They took my blood and we found out our hcg count was past 50,000 which is perfect for almost 7 weeks (Praise God!). Also they gave me some fluids and anti nausea med's to help keep the fluid down. Which thankfully it worked. I cant say enough about the new Henry Ford Hospital in West Bloomfield. It is so nice to walk in, get a private room/bathroom, and be seen by a Dr withing 10 minutes of arriving. The best part, no waiting room with a bunch of sick people! Also they have nice T.Vs in all the rooms so it keeps you occupied. I dont think I will ever go to another hospital, not that I want to go anyway lol.
So yeah thats pretty much it, I am feeling better, still having some tummy issues, but I dont know if its just from the pregnancy or left over stomach bug. I was able to eat some breakfast without feeling sick today so thats good! We have an ultrasound on the 30th when I am 8 weeks. We will definitly keep you updated about that!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
6 weeks
We had our first appt with the midwife yesterday, and it went great! Now I remember why I liked her so much. She said everything looks normal and we will get our first ultrasound next week to see the heartbeat, and find out how big our baby is :)
I am still feeling pretty good, but am pretty much tired all the time. I have been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and still wanting to take a nap. Also eating is becoming a little big of a challenge, however I am forcing myself to eat. I seem to always feel sick right around 4-5 at night, and periodically throughout the day. Its mostly food adversions. Cooking anything makes me sick, so unless its already made, or I bought it, dont count on me eating it....but these little reminders are fine with me, because it reminds me of the miracle going on.
Lance has some pretty exciting stuff going on and we cant wait to see what the future holds. I have a feeling things are going to keep getting better. 2008 was rough, but God has awesome plans for 2009, I can just feel it.
I am still feeling pretty good, but am pretty much tired all the time. I have been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and still wanting to take a nap. Also eating is becoming a little big of a challenge, however I am forcing myself to eat. I seem to always feel sick right around 4-5 at night, and periodically throughout the day. Its mostly food adversions. Cooking anything makes me sick, so unless its already made, or I bought it, dont count on me eating it....but these little reminders are fine with me, because it reminds me of the miracle going on.
Lance has some pretty exciting stuff going on and we cant wait to see what the future holds. I have a feeling things are going to keep getting better. 2008 was rough, but God has awesome plans for 2009, I can just feel it.
Monday, April 13, 2009
5 weeks 5 days....moving?
Tomorrow is my appt. with my midwife, we are very excited to see her again! I am still feeling pretty good, but have my moments of extreme sleepiness, and queasiness. I really just cant wait to hear the heartbeat, and get past the 13th week. Even though I struggle here and there I have been trying my best to enjoy this pregnancy, because this baby deserves our hope and love.
As for the moving part....it exhausts me to think of it....but we can no longer stay where we are at, for more then one reason. For one, we cant really afford it. We are paying ALOT in rent, and we know it is very important for me to stay home once this baby is born. We dont know what that means for us, but we are excited to see what God has planned for us. Also they are selling the house and we dont like having people come over when we are not home. Essentially we need to be out of here at the end of May, and maybe we can stay until the end of June. We dont know if this means apartment, or what. We are relying on God to show us where we will be moving. As for now I am going to start going thru stuff and packing away things we are not using.
So prayers for direction, and peace would be greatly appreciated! :)
As for the moving part....it exhausts me to think of it....but we can no longer stay where we are at, for more then one reason. For one, we cant really afford it. We are paying ALOT in rent, and we know it is very important for me to stay home once this baby is born. We dont know what that means for us, but we are excited to see what God has planned for us. Also they are selling the house and we dont like having people come over when we are not home. Essentially we need to be out of here at the end of May, and maybe we can stay until the end of June. We dont know if this means apartment, or what. We are relying on God to show us where we will be moving. As for now I am going to start going thru stuff and packing away things we are not using.
So prayers for direction, and peace would be greatly appreciated! :)
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I just need to write
Today has been hard for me.....I am coming to the realization of how fragile this little life is. I want to be happy and enjoy my pregnancy, but I cant lie, I am scared. I keep praying for God to take away any fear or anxiety, but it keeps finding its way back.
So many people were looking foward to our first little miracle, and we lost her. It was the worst pain I have ever felt, and I cant imagine feeling it again. I felt like I let our family down. I hated having to tell everyone what happened.
Everyone is so excited for this little baby growing in me, and I want to be excited too. Dont get me wrong I am....and I am feeling pretty attached to the little one already...I just cant shake this nervousness. I feel like a failure when I tell people too, because so many people have been telling me not to feel this way, and to only speak life into the situation. Which I do, every day...but I still have that little voice saying..."what if"....
All I ask is for prayer for me, and Lance, and our little baby. For strength, positive thoughts, and a healthy little baby growing.
So many people were looking foward to our first little miracle, and we lost her. It was the worst pain I have ever felt, and I cant imagine feeling it again. I felt like I let our family down. I hated having to tell everyone what happened.
Everyone is so excited for this little baby growing in me, and I want to be excited too. Dont get me wrong I am....and I am feeling pretty attached to the little one already...I just cant shake this nervousness. I feel like a failure when I tell people too, because so many people have been telling me not to feel this way, and to only speak life into the situation. Which I do, every day...but I still have that little voice saying..."what if"....
All I ask is for prayer for me, and Lance, and our little baby. For strength, positive thoughts, and a healthy little baby growing.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
5 weeks...Plus I have some great news!
So I was chatting with this women I met online, who I origionally started talking to because she is a chiropractor and I was interested in all of that. Well turns out God had this all worked out, as he always does! She ended up loosing 2 babies after the birth of her daughter. She had blood work done like me and we both found out we had double mutations of MTHFR. Essentially we are taking LOTS of folic acid, and a lose dose aspirin (during pregnancy) to keep the blood flow going good. Well thats not all she was brought into my life for.
When we moved here from Grand Rapids, I had my first prenatal appt with Trish Scane (a midwife at the office I am going to now) That was the day we found out our baby had passed. I loved Trish and after meeting her only once, knew I wanted her to be my midwife for future pregnancies. About 3 months ago, I went to schedule my yearly womens exam, and found out she was leaving the practice! I was so upset, but I figured at least I knew a OBGYN there, even though I perfered a midwife, because I want a completely natural birth. Well fast foward, the women I met was telling me about a brand new hospital she is going to give birth at (shes 17weeks preggo) in West Bloomfield. I asked her about it, who her midwifes name is, ect. She told me it was Trish Scane! (my old midwife) I emailed my midwife, and she can get me in next week for my first prenatal!
Whats even weirder, is this women was going to the same practice as me for a while, until she found Trish. If you havent heard of this new hospital, its amazing! All of the birthing rooms have hydrotherapy tubs, you can have medical intervention (IV's, epidurals) or None at all (YAY!) Plus they serve organic food, no more yucky hospital food, and everything is brand new! Not to mention Henry Ford has always been known as a great hospital. Well enough of me ranting, I am just excited and had to share how God is truly working in our life :)
When we moved here from Grand Rapids, I had my first prenatal appt with Trish Scane (a midwife at the office I am going to now) That was the day we found out our baby had passed. I loved Trish and after meeting her only once, knew I wanted her to be my midwife for future pregnancies. About 3 months ago, I went to schedule my yearly womens exam, and found out she was leaving the practice! I was so upset, but I figured at least I knew a OBGYN there, even though I perfered a midwife, because I want a completely natural birth. Well fast foward, the women I met was telling me about a brand new hospital she is going to give birth at (shes 17weeks preggo) in West Bloomfield. I asked her about it, who her midwifes name is, ect. She told me it was Trish Scane! (my old midwife) I emailed my midwife, and she can get me in next week for my first prenatal!
Whats even weirder, is this women was going to the same practice as me for a while, until she found Trish. If you havent heard of this new hospital, its amazing! All of the birthing rooms have hydrotherapy tubs, you can have medical intervention (IV's, epidurals) or None at all (YAY!) Plus they serve organic food, no more yucky hospital food, and everything is brand new! Not to mention Henry Ford has always been known as a great hospital. Well enough of me ranting, I am just excited and had to share how God is truly working in our life :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
4 weeks 6 days
So I got my repeat blood work done and it came back at 3117!! Praise God!! It more the quadrupled in 4 days! I have my first ultrasound this Thursday to date the pregnancy, which I didnt have the first pregnancy, so I am a little anxious. I am hoping to see a heartbeat, but I may not be far enough along, or I could be farther along then I know.
So far its been a daily struggle to keep fear and anxiety out of this pregnancy. But everytime I feel it coming on I pray and call out God's promises. The only other ultrasound I have had brought devastating news, but I need to start claiming this one will bring joyous news of a new little life growing peacefully. Its easy to get caught up in the what ifs. I kept thinking "what if my numbers dont come back right?" But Lance has been praying that they would come back and we would not have any doubts that it meant a healthy pregnancy, and God answered that prayer!
We have had two friends, one on Sat. and one on Sunday, deliver two precious little boys. It makes me look foward to December when we get to meet our little one, I cant wait to be a mommy :)
So far its been a daily struggle to keep fear and anxiety out of this pregnancy. But everytime I feel it coming on I pray and call out God's promises. The only other ultrasound I have had brought devastating news, but I need to start claiming this one will bring joyous news of a new little life growing peacefully. Its easy to get caught up in the what ifs. I kept thinking "what if my numbers dont come back right?" But Lance has been praying that they would come back and we would not have any doubts that it meant a healthy pregnancy, and God answered that prayer!
We have had two friends, one on Sat. and one on Sunday, deliver two precious little boys. It makes me look foward to December when we get to meet our little one, I cant wait to be a mommy :)
Friday, April 3, 2009
4 weeks 2 days
I went to the Dr. yesterday for a concern I was having, which turned out to be fine :) However I did get my blood drawn to check my hcg (the pregnancy hormone) and they were at 655! Looking at charts online, it is normal to be between 18-435 when your 4 weeks, so I can say my numbers are definitly healthy! I will get them checked again on Monday to make sure they are going up appropriatly, which I am positive they will.
Less then 2 weeks till my first prenatal appt. We have just been praising God for this baby, I still have to remind myself that im pregnant. I got so used to seeing negative test after negative test, that a positive one is a bit of a shock!
I am feeling good, a little back ache here and there, a little queasy, I am hungry all the time, oh and I feel like I could sleep all day. I didnt get morning sickness until 6-7 weeks last time, and it wasnt that bad. I honestly dont mind all the symptoms, it reminds me of the little miracle going on inside :)
I will update Tuesday with Mondays test results
Less then 2 weeks till my first prenatal appt. We have just been praising God for this baby, I still have to remind myself that im pregnant. I got so used to seeing negative test after negative test, that a positive one is a bit of a shock!
I am feeling good, a little back ache here and there, a little queasy, I am hungry all the time, oh and I feel like I could sleep all day. I didnt get morning sickness until 6-7 weeks last time, and it wasnt that bad. I honestly dont mind all the symptoms, it reminds me of the little miracle going on inside :)
I will update Tuesday with Mondays test results
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
4 weeks
So no more secrets, We are expecting!! I cannot tell you how excited we truly are. I was so worried I wouldnt be able to enjoy this pregnancy, because of what happened with Josiah, and it may get tough right around 12 weeks, but I have to trust in God. I truly believe he is going to protect this child and we will meet him/her (or both, as Lance says, lol) in December! I can say that I feel very at peace right now, and am already in love with my little peanut. I started feeling a little nauseas this morning, and I welcome it :)
We have such a testimony with our loss, and then the blessing of this baby. Lance and I plan on writing it all down and sharing it one day with our church family, and anyone who wants to hear! God has been so faithful and so good. He has healed my body and prepared my womb for this little miracle.
Our family is so excited, and I love the fact that none of them said "maybe you shouldnt tell anyone until...." because we want to claim God's gift and shout it out to anyone that will listen. We are claiming this baby and preparing the way!
My 1st appt is April 15th, I'll be 6 weeks by then. I am sure through this journal I will update alot on the progress and how I am feeling. but as of now I am feeling good, just tired, achey, and a little queasy..
Thanks for everyone who has been there for us through these long 9 months, and thank you to everyone who will be here for the next 9 months! :)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
9 months
9 months since my life has been turned upside down. I still think of what she would be like, look like. I miss her every day. I know she is with Jesus, but I wanted her here with us. I cant explain what it feels like to have this burning desire to be a mommy, and have it ripped out from underneath you. Now I know I WILL be mommy, maybe not to Josiah, but God has promised us children.
I trust God with all of this, I truly do, but it still is painful, and I still grieve. I think of how things could have been different, and they would have found her heartbeat, the ultrasound would have shown a beautiful little baby moving around and kicking her mommy (she was a mover, I would hear her move all the time with the doppler I rented) I dont think I will ever forget that day, the way it felt, the expression on my husbands face. The days following were a blur. I would just lay there and cry, for hours. My husband tried to be strong even though he was in just as much pain. We prayed, we cried out to God, I wanted to know why. I will never really know why, there was no medical reason for this. They did all the tests they could, found a few things, but nothing that jumped out at them, to say this is what caused it. This was not the way I planned it. This was not supposed to happen, not to us....but it did
She was the 1st grandchild, first neice, first child. She will always be the first little miracle. But I know soon I will be blessed with another little miracle. I trust God with all of my heart that he will bless us, and we will meet our next child here on earth.
In memory of our little beanie: April 11th 2008 - June 25th 2008
Saturday, March 21, 2009
weekend....
Tomorrow we are gonna have some people over...should be fun...we want to take advantage of our backyard while we are still here....even tho it may be to cold....darn michigan...lol...plus we are gonna play Mario Kart WII!! fun times :)
I need new clothes...I love delias...but the mall seems so far away...
So per my OB/GYN's request, I've been charting my temperatures.....I have to chart 2 months then make a follow up appt. I'm hoping to be pregnant before that has to happen, but only God knows. If I were to get pregnant this month, I would be due in Dec. again. Time sure flies by.
FYI...if you are gonna come over tomorrow....you can bring whatever you want to grill, drink, ect...it should be a fun time!
I need new clothes...I love delias...but the mall seems so far away...
So per my OB/GYN's request, I've been charting my temperatures.....I have to chart 2 months then make a follow up appt. I'm hoping to be pregnant before that has to happen, but only God knows. If I were to get pregnant this month, I would be due in Dec. again. Time sure flies by.
FYI...if you are gonna come over tomorrow....you can bring whatever you want to grill, drink, ect...it should be a fun time!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
First...
I have so much going on in my life right now, I figured why not "write" it down. Its also a good way for family and friends to know whats going on in my life, for those who want to know!
Alot has changed this past year, I became a mother. Not in the physical sense, because my daughter is with Jesus, but 100% in the emotional sense. I hope to make more beautiful babies with my husband and get to hold them here on earth. I wont get into all of that, its been almost a year, and although we miss her every day, and still grieve, I know she is being taken care of. God has promised us children, and I believe and trust him completely. Josiah will always be our first little miracle, but definitly not our last!
We have been trying to conceive for about 6 months now. It took us one month to get Josiah so this is pretty disheartning. However, I know Gods timing is perfect, and it will happen in his time.
We have finally found our home church, and its amazing! We have been to all sorts of churches since we have been married, but never felt it was the right fit for us. We have been going there for a little over 2 months and already feel like they are an extended family. Lance has been meeting with our Pastor weekly and I am so happy he has someone in his life like Dave. Its awesome to see how God works in our lifes, and every day I am seeing it more and more. Its amazing to be a part of church where they allow the holy spirit to lead the services, and not a schedule. A lot of exciting things are happening there, and we are blessed to be a part of it.
We are also in the process of trying to buy our first home. We have alot going on there too, and its so exciting. We are focusing on Waterford, as we live out this way now, and love it. Plus our church is out here. Waterford has an amazing opportunity for first time homebuyers right now who cant afford the down payment and cash to fix up the home. Our lease is up at the house in Commerce, and they are trying to sell. We will see where God leads us.
I guess thats about it right now, just kind of a quick update :)
Alot has changed this past year, I became a mother. Not in the physical sense, because my daughter is with Jesus, but 100% in the emotional sense. I hope to make more beautiful babies with my husband and get to hold them here on earth. I wont get into all of that, its been almost a year, and although we miss her every day, and still grieve, I know she is being taken care of. God has promised us children, and I believe and trust him completely. Josiah will always be our first little miracle, but definitly not our last!
We have been trying to conceive for about 6 months now. It took us one month to get Josiah so this is pretty disheartning. However, I know Gods timing is perfect, and it will happen in his time.
We have finally found our home church, and its amazing! We have been to all sorts of churches since we have been married, but never felt it was the right fit for us. We have been going there for a little over 2 months and already feel like they are an extended family. Lance has been meeting with our Pastor weekly and I am so happy he has someone in his life like Dave. Its awesome to see how God works in our lifes, and every day I am seeing it more and more. Its amazing to be a part of church where they allow the holy spirit to lead the services, and not a schedule. A lot of exciting things are happening there, and we are blessed to be a part of it.
We are also in the process of trying to buy our first home. We have alot going on there too, and its so exciting. We are focusing on Waterford, as we live out this way now, and love it. Plus our church is out here. Waterford has an amazing opportunity for first time homebuyers right now who cant afford the down payment and cash to fix up the home. Our lease is up at the house in Commerce, and they are trying to sell. We will see where God leads us.
I guess thats about it right now, just kind of a quick update :)
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